Simon Gilmore, of Crowthers Hill, Dartmouth, writes:

If you want to get yourself killed, forget the Middle East, just go to the Sainsbury’s car park in Dartmouth on a Saturday morning.

I was nearly killed four times in the space of three minutes.

Because it has lost a large area of the car park due to its decision to build a petrol station, what is left of the car park is now very restricted. However, I found a space and parked.

I got out and walked to the rear of my car. I had to jump back immediately as a blue van tore past me at a ridiculous speed. It was so close I felt the wind rip past me as it flew off. The driver didn’t even notice he had nearly killed me.

Having regained my composure I began walking towards the store. There was a howling wind, with debris from the building works floating in the air. In no time, the next near miss happened.

A woman in a green ford reversed out so quickly I didn’t have time to move and her bumper scraped past my leg. Because I have stealth-like ­commando skills I was able to twist my body into an impossible angle to prevent myself from being taken out.

I admit I swore at the woman, telling her to watch what she was doing. She was totally oblivious to what she had done and happily drove away. She had two kids ­lumping around on the back seat. No seatbelts on.

As I was on my knees between two cars, the near miss was not witnessed by anyone. Damn! I rubbed my knee, picked myself up and attempted to carry on.

Would I get to the store alive? I was now being very wary.

I reverted to my commando skills and moved forward ­slowly and cautiously, turning left and right in case the enemy was coming for me. Danger, it seemed, was everywhere.

The wind roared and the dust from the ground and building works was swirling around everywhere.

Suddenly there was a loud clattering noise. It sounded like machine gun fire. I crouched. I was ready and alert. No, it was worse. Someone had let the shopping trolleys loose and a whole line of them was ­charging straight towards me like a raging bull. I heard voices shouting in the distance.

I held out my hands to stop the charging trolleys, but they picked up speed. Again my commando skills kicked in and I dived for cover behind a car, but that was not a good move as the car was reversing out.

My jacket got caught in its wing mirror and I thought I was going to be dragged out and trampled by the marauding trolleys. I banged on the window to warn the driver, a rather pompous-looking man who was giving me the strangest of looks.

‘Stop!’ I called, but he didn’t.

Somehow I managed to unhook myself from his mirror and roll away. The trolleys smashed into his car.

‘Phew, that was close,’ I thought. ‘It could have been me.’

He should have listened to me and stopped.

I wiped my brow and carried on towards the store. I was nearly there. I smiled – I could see the doors. I had made it!

Just as I stepped forward to cross the final leg to the pavement outside the store, I heard a terrifying roar and to my right came a giant yellow monster with its jaws wide open. It was growling at me.

‘Oh Christ, what now?’ I thought, and immediately assumed a karate position, with legs apart ready to kick out and palms flattened on both hands ready to strike. Then I heard a voice.

‘Oi, watch it mate!’

It was the driver of the large yellow dumper truck. He ­hadn’t seen me with the tipper thing in the up position.

‘No, you watch it,’ I called back.

The man in the orange jumpsuit and white crash helmet, looking like something out of the Village People, just glared at me and tore away.

I stood there, stunned, with the wind swirling around the car park. I turned back to see how far I had come. Against all the odds, I had made it into

the store. Shaken and most ­definitely stirred. Angry.

I don’t know why we need another petrol station, there’s nothing wrong with the garage on the other side of the road.

But Sainsbury’s’ decision to carve up its car park has made it a dangerous place to venture, especially as people don’t take care when manoeuvring their vehicles around in a very restricted area. Some people think they are the only ones on the road.

Next time I go to Sainsbury’s it will be in an armoured assault vehicle and I’ll be armed with an AK47.

* A spokesman for Sainsbury’s said: ‘We are sorry to hear about the customer’s experience in our car park. Safety is of paramount importance to us and we’d encourage any customer who has concerns to report it immediately in store.’